The courage to live consciously

Security is mostly a superstition. It does notexist in nature,nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spiritsin the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.- Helen KellerIn our day-to-day lives, the virtue of couragedoesn’t receive much attention. Courage is aquality reserved for soldiers, firefighters, andactivists. Security is what matters most today. Perhaps you were taught to avoid being too bold or too brave. It’s too dangerous. Don’t take unnecessary risks. Don’t draw attention to yourself in public. Follow family traditions. Don’t talk to strangers. Keep an eye out for suspicious people. Stay safe.But a side effect of overemphasizing the importance of personal security in your life is that it can cause you to live reactively. Instead of setting your own goals, making plans to achieve them, and going after themwith gusto, you play it safe. Keep working atthe stable job, even though it doesn’t fulfill you. Remain in the unsatisfying relationship,even though you feel dead inside compared to the passion you once had. Who are you to think that you can buck the system? Accept your lot in life, and make the best of it. Go with the flow, and don’t rock the boat. Your only hope is that the currents of life willpull you in a favorable direction.No doubt there exist real dangers in life you must avoid. But there’s a huge gulf betweenrecklessness and courage. I’m not referring to the heroic courage required to risk your life to save someone from a burning building. By courage I mean the ability to face down those imaginary fears and reclaim the far more powerful life that you’ve denied yourself. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear of being alone. Fear of humiliation. Fear of public speaking. Fear of being ostracized by family and friends. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of success.How many of these fears are holding you back? How would you live if you had no fearat all? You’d still have your intelligence and common sense to safely navigate around any real dangers, but without feeling the emotion of fear, would you be more willing to take risks, especially when the worst case wouldn’t actually hurt you at all? Wouldyou speak up more often, talk to more strangers, ask for more sales, dive headlonginto those ambitious projects you’ve been dreaming about? What if you even learned to enjoy the things you currently fear? What kind of difference would that make in your life?Have you previously convinced yourself thatyou aren’t really afraid of anything… that there are always good and logical reasons why you don’t do certain things? It would berude to introduce yourself to a stranger. Youshouldn’t attempt public speaking because you don’t have anything to say. Asking for a raise would be improper because you’re supposed to wait until the next formal review. They’re just rationalizations though -think about how your life would change if you could confidently and courageously do these things with no fear at all.What Is Courage?Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.- Ambrose RedmoonCourage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.- Mark TwainCourage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.- John WayneI like the definitions of courage above, whichall suggest that courage is the ability to get yourself to take action in spite of fear. The word courage derives from the Latincor, which means “heart.” But true courage is more a matter of intellect than of feeling. It requires using the uniquely human part of your brain (the neocortex) to wrest control away from the emotional limbic brain you share in common with other mammals. Your limbic brain signals danger, but your neocortex reasons that the danger isn’t real,so you simply feel the fear and take action anyway. The more you learn to act in spite of fear, the more human you become. The more you follow the fear, the more you live like a lower mammal. So the question, “Are you a man or a mouse?” is consistent with human neurology.Courageous people are still afraid, but they don’t let the fear paralyze them. People wholack courage will give into fear more often than not, which actually has the long-term effect of strengthening the fear. When you avoid facing a fear and then feel relieved that you escaped it, this acts as a psychological reward that reinforces the mouse-like avoidance behavior, making you even more likely to avoid facing the fear in the future. So the more you avoid asking someone out on a date, the more paralyzed you’ll feel about taking such actions in the future. You are literally conditioning yourselfto become more timid and mouse-like.Such avoidance behavior causes stagnationin the long run. As you get older, you reinforce your fear reactions to the point where it’s hard to even imagine yourself standing up to your fears. You begin taking your fears for granted; they become real to you. You cocoon yourself into a life that insulates you from all these fears: a stable but unhappy marriage, a job that doesn’t require you to take risks, an income that keeps you comfortable. Then you rationalizeyour behavior: You have a family to support and can’t take risks, you’re too old to shift careers, you can’t lose weight because you have “fat” genes. Five years… ten years… twenty years pass, and you realize that yourlife hasn’t changed all that much. You’ve settled down. All that’s really left now is to live out the remainder of your years as contently as possible and then settle yourself into the ground, where you’ll finally achieve total safety and security.

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